


bittersweet memories of a life long gone

by danhowellsjeans



Category: Eddsworld - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Implied Sexual Content, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-29
Updated: 2019-10-01
Packaged: 2020-11-07 20:31:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20823368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/danhowellsjeans/pseuds/danhowellsjeans





	1. coming home

when he left, i felt as if i was the only one to see his absence.

i'm sure they noticed, of course. he wasn't exactly a...small presence in our lives. but...nobody really felt it like i did.

it was his face i saw in my dreams, his voice i heard in my nightmares. his fingers i imagined touching me. i missed him so much more than i would ever admit to the others.

"hey, edd, are you okay?" they'd ask, and i'd smile, make some witty joke and drink my cola. it didn't always hurt, so i was fine, right?

he never picked up my calls or answered my emails. i blamed it on being busy. i stopped trying. i felt better, slowly.

and then he came back, and it all came rushing back harder than before. i almost collapsed at his feet the moment i saw him, instead forcing out nothing but a friendly hug.

_he doesn't like you, edd. let him be. you can settle for best friends._

his warmth made me want to hold him forever. i could hardly let him go as i pulled back, but the stunned look on his face made my blood run cold with anxiety once again.

_you can settle for best friends._

i berated matt for forgetting tord, though my mind was cloudy. all i could see were his beautiful brown eyes, his soft hair...

_you can settle._

i backed away silently, closing myself in my room. i couldn't do it. i couldn't see him there, laughing and smiling, while i _agonized_ over his very existence.

a knock on my door. tom, probably, coming to check on me. i stood to open it, but froze when i heard _his_ soft voice come through.

"edd? are you okay?" my cheeks felt like they were on fire as i opened the door with a shaky hand. he stepped inside, the door falling closed behind him, and i could hear my heartbeat in my ears.

"edd? are you listening?" i blinked, and he was _so_ close to me. my brain shut down, my impulses took over, and... i pushed myself into him, kissing him _desperately._ he let out a surprised noise, stumbling backwards, and i felt tears running down my cheeks.

i didn't even hear my own voice spewing apologies. my head was spinning. i couldn't breathe. i couldn't think. i...

i woke up in my bed.

tord was standing over me, concern filling his features. i opened my mouth, panic yet again filling me, but he shook his head.

"it's alright, edd." seeing the confused look on my face, he leaned forward a bit. "i didn't say no, did i?"


	2. a moment of peace

i wasn't sure how long we stayed in the bedroom.

hours, probably. nobody came to bother us, though with the noises they most likely heard from outside, i wasn't surprised. 

after a while, we laid next to each other, wearing nothing but long t-shirts. i turned to say something, but my words died on my tongue as i saw the look on tord's face.

he looked...strained, like he was trying to make a huge decision. oh, god, did i fuck something up? my anxiety took over once again, and i curled up on my side of the bed.

"hey. i can hear you thinking from here. don't worry about a thing, alright?"

i glanced up from the bed, seeing a soft smile still on his face. i couldn't tell what he was thinking-people that said you could see any feelings through the eyes were always liars-but i knew he wasn't telling me everything.

still, i leaned into his warmth. i could enjoy his presence while it lasted, and that was exactly what i planned to do.


	3. betrayal

the days passed. tord really was living with us again.

though, he had no room, so he usually slept in mine. he stayed up late, long past when i inevitably drifted off.

i wondered what he did at those late hours. he always sat at my desk, scribbling and doodling until i would wake up the next morning and find him asleep on the desk.

i would carry him to my bed, tuck him in, and hide away his late-night work without even sparing a glance at it. he’d always been secretive, after all. it was for the better that i didn’t look.

one day, though, i woke up and something was wrong. he wasn’t there at my desk. his papers were cleaned off, and he was gone. 

i jumped out of my bed, panic filling me. had he left again? hearing a rumble outside, i peeked out my window, and…

what the hell was _ that? _a...giant robot, it seemed. the shining red of the metal, the horns on top...that was definitely tord’s creation. i swallowed back my tears as i ran outside, hardly even stopping to put shoes on.

“tord! what are you doing!?” i cried out, and the robot turned its head to me to show the man i loved in the cockpit. a smile crept onto his lips, but it wasn’t the soft smile i saw in bed. it wasn’t the smile i knew.

he didn’t look...right. a hat was on his head, tilted slightly. i recognized it as his old army hat, back from when we joined the army for like, a day. 

his eyes were wide, and he waved at me. “hey, edd! thanks for letting me hang around for so long!” my voice cracked as i responded.

“i...thought we were friends?” that brought a wild laugh from him. 

“friends? what would i need friends for when there’s a world to take over?” he spread his arms wide. “this world is mine to crush, and with this robot, i’m unstoppable!”

my heart sank. so...this was all a lie? he was just using me? i didn’t say anything in response to him, just falling to my knees as the mech took off into the air.

my heart felt shattered.


	4. burning hands, burning heart

it all went in a blur.

one moment, i was on the ground, tears running down my cheeks and numbness in my heart, and the next, there was tom with his harpoon gun.

i didn't even get the chance to scream as the harpoon was fired into tord's robot. though, i definitely did when i saw it explode.

i ran towards the wreckage. it wasn't far away, and even though i usually didn't run, my legs carried me faster than i'd ever moved before.

i saw a glimpse of red fabric underneath the biggest pile of wreckage, and i let out a choked sob. my body moved on its own as i grabbed the still burning-hot metal with my bare hands, shoving it out of the way. i couldn't feel pain anywhere but my heart.

the last chunk of metal was huge, but tord's eyes fluttered open as i pulled on it. with his help, we pushed the metal forward and off of him. 

he fell on top of me, and i was sobbing, and holding him. i didn't care if his blood got on my sweatshirt. his breathing was shallow, but he looked up at me with gratefulness in his eyes.

i held him close to me, and we breathed together until he weakly reached up to pull me down for a kiss. i fell into it, gripping him as gently as i could manage with my burnt hands.

and then i heard shifting. panic filling me, i pushed away from the kiss, pulling tord behind me just as the huge chunk of metal that had previously been trapping him collapsed.

there was agony for only a moment before my nerves went dead. i couldn't feel my legs. oh, _god_, i couldn't feel my legs. was tord screaming? i couldn't tell.

i blacked out.


End file.
